Play for 6 people. Once two new year's eve… - Николай Владимирович Лакутин

voice so strange? Well, how strange? I don't know… strange. Very cheerful or something. What are you doing there? Where are you? At home? Do you wash dishes? So what's so fun about it? TV? Comedy? On what channel? Yes? Clearly. All right, bye.

Semyon puts down the phone and looks around.

SEMYON (friend): There's no TV here, do you know?

LENYA (judiciously): Give up these checks, Semyon. Don't look for clues, or you'll find them. And then it will not be good for anyone!

SEMYON (nervously): Well, then why are you egging me on? I hadn't even thought about it before.

LEON (considered): That's right!

SEMYON (nervously): Now think.

LEON (considered): What about me? I'm just thinking out loud. You have a wife and a mistress, and I have a wife and a mistress… and you can see it over there… on the lift…

Lenya points towards the audience, and Semyon looks where his friend is pointing.

LEON (sensible): get Out… the men of the thirty-rises. All normal-looking guys, and therefore also have wives and mistresses.

SEMYON (trying to understand): So what? What are you driving at?

LEON (considered): And to the fact that none of the men thinks why their wives are so condescending to their (pausing, with sarcasm) "hobby".

Semyon looks suspiciously at his friend, takes out his phone again, and calls his wife with a dubious look.

SEMYON (into the phone, with a hit-and-run): Hello? Alina? You? Never know. Why is the voice so strange? Well, how strange? I don't know… strange. Very sad or something. What are you doing there? Where are you? At home? Cleaning up? Well, what's so sad about it? The song is sad? What song? Where does it play? Yes? Clearly. All right, bye.

He puts down the phone and looks irritated at his friend.

SEMYON (hysterically, on edge, to a friend): Lenya! Enough a! It's okay, don't strain it! Not yourself, not me, not the men. Our wives, unlike us, are decent people.

Lenya throws up his hands, his phone rings. He picks up the phone.

LEON (in a tube, well, mischievous): Yes, my love? I can, yeah. For you, I'm always free and always can.

Lenya smiles, mleet, talking on the phone. Semyon, looking at this shakes his head, understanding with whom his friend is talking there.

LEON (in a tube, well, mischievous): Did you miss me? Very much? You're my good girl. I missed you, too. Necessarily. I'll be at your place in about an hour, wait, get ready, when I get to you…

He hangs up, puts the phone away, still smiling, looks at his friend. Simon is skeptical look at Lenya.

SIMON (sarcastic tone): My joy, then? Well, well. Everything is clear, Susanna called. When Nora calls, the greeting is a little different. (Imitates friend, shouting) What are you calling for? I'm busy! Write a message, I've asked you a thousand times, don't call me while I'm working, you're distracting me. Inconvenient. Everything! That's all for now, I can't talk!

Lenya smiles maliciously.

SEMYON (complacently): Something like that.

LENYA (to a friend, with a sense of self-respect): Yes! Because I'm a man and I'm the boss of the family. And here you are, fawning over your own. (Parades with a trembling voice) Alinochka? Honey, I can't right now. I can't, I'm sorry. Let's do it later. Later, please. I'll call you back. I'll call you back… yeah… I Still can't… Later…

Semyon looks at his friend in confusion.

LENYA (complacently): Well? Recognize it?

SEMYON (reasonably, calmly): Yes. I respect my wife. I love it and appreciate it. And besides, I feel a certain guilt towards her for my own, so to speak… physiological weaknesses.

LENYA (biased): Come on. What are the weaknesses… You are a man, it is normal that you have a mistress. Every normal man has a mistress, or even two. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Mistresses there is no only have flawed, those which nafig no one need, but have such, as a rule, not the, that mistresses, have them and wives not case. For the same reason. So let's not blame ourselves for what is natural and natural.

SEMYON (judiciously, thoughtfully): Understand. Lence. I keep thinking about it. I love my wife very much. Very. I will not give Alina to anyone and will do everything not to lose her. And Kristina is very nice. I feel good with her, so nice, calm, comfortable, but… But internally, because of this whole situation, I somehow feel like a bit of an asshole.

Lenya waves her hand, pours more soda, and drinks.

SEMYON (judiciously, thoughtfully): So you say – naturally, all that. Yes, I myself know that this is the nature of men, they can not do otherwise. Maybe they would, but they can't… I feel a certain responsibility, as if to all of them. You know? Both responsibility and guilt!

LENYA (draining a glass of soda and exhaling loudly): I'll tell you what, old man! Go now to your Kristina, but don't try to drive her there this Blizzard. Pull back hard and everything will fall into place. The brain will fall into place, and life will continue as usual. And next weekend, you and I will meet here again and talk about it.

Lenya throws on, partially zips up the jacket, goes to a friend and holds out his hand, saying goodbye.

LENYA (summing up the meeting): Well, Susanna's waiting for me. We have her there… The event is scheduled, so… Come on, see you again, my friend!

SEMYON (holds his friend's hand in the lock, does not let go of the handshake): Tell me, could you just drop everything like that?

LENYA (trying to free her hand): You mean leave your wife for your mistress? Of course, I can, but I don't need it. Then the mistress will become a wife, and I will look for a new mistress. This is all a completed stage. A waste of time, effort,